Adoption is a journey that allows you to be in control of the decisions for your pregnancy. Adoption is an option you can decide upon at any point – prior to the birth of your child, or even later when perhaps you may feel overwhelmed and unable to provide for the child in the way that you desire. Regardless of when the child is due, or was born, you are able to form an adoption plan.
Identifying an Adoption Plan
The first step in deciding on an adoption plan is to identify which option is best for you and the child. Some questions you should begin considering:
Do you want to meet the adoptive parents? When deciding on adoption as an option, you do not necessarily have to meet the adoptive parents. You have the option of privately selecting the parents by listing or discussing traits and attributes that you’d like the adoptive family to have. Or, you can play an active role in selecting the adoptive family by attending interviews with the counselor assigned to you. YOU get to choose how much interaction with the adoptive parents YOU wish to have.
How much contact or involvement would you like to have in the child’s life? There are several types of adoption that may be of interest to you. There are options of open adoption, partially open (or semi-open) adoption, and confidential (or closed) adoption. In an open adoption, birth families and adoptive families will maintain significant ongoing contact after a placement. This can be through pictures, phone calls, letters, meetings, or however you arrange interaction with the adoptive parents and child. This option is best if you would still like to have some form of contact with the child.
In a partially open adoption, you have limited interaction with the adoptive parents and child. In this option, you typically do not know the child’s full name or location. To preserve confidentiality, the agency usually serves as an intercessor for any contact (pictures or letters) the family or lawyer shares with you. This option is best for you if you would like to know how the child is doing, but do not want the adoptive parents or child to know your identity or where you live.
Lastly, in a confidential adoption you do not choose the placement of the baby with a family, and you have no contact with the adoptive parents, and no contact with the baby once placed with the new family. There will be no contact prior to the adoption, and no contact following the adoption. This option is best for you if you do not wish to have any knowledge or interaction with the adoptive parents or child.
Choosing an Agency
It is important to know what type of adoption works for you. After you have done your research on adoption and have considered the type of adoption plan that may be best for you and the child, you will need to find an agency that is licensed in your area. You must work with an agency licensed in the state where you live. While AVA Care is not an adoption agency, we are happy to answer any questions you may have about adoption and refer you to a local adoption agency if you choose to proceed with this option. AVA Care can provide answers to your questions about adoption, such as:
- Is adoption the right plan for me?
- How does adoption work?
- If adoption is my decision, what is the next step?
AVA Care does not receive payment of any kind from adoption agencies. We provide you with information about adoption and can refer you to adoption agencies. They will provide you with further information and guide you through the adoption process.
Managing Your Feelings About Adoption
At some point during the adoption process or after, you may experience feelings of anger, loneliness, sadness, pain, anxiety, confusion, or even postpartum depression. This is normal for many mothers who choose to form an adoption plan. You are not alone and it is nothing to be ashamed of, if you do experience these feelings. It is important that you take care of yourself, acknowledge and deal with your feelings. Although you may feel alone, you are not. We have client advocates here at AVA Care who would love to talk with you during this tough time or answer any additional questions that you may have. We are here for you – no matter what you decide.
AVA Care is here to Advocate for you, Validate your concerns and provide Answers to your questions. We are here for you – no matter what you decide. Schedule an appointment online or call 540.434.7528 today.
Dr. Teresa Klansek
The content on this page has been reviewed and approved by our Medical Director Dr. Teresa Klansek.